D3 body, D1 cock
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
