Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
