My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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