I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
