Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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