Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
