Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
