apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
