"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
