K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
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