yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
