Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
