he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
