Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
