I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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