I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
whose parrot is this?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
