I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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