paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
