IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
