This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
