Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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