The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
