Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
