It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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