This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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