Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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