If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
