New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Randomize
