Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He passed out mid-signature
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
