come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just want to make out with him forever
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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