Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
