Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
sex in a hospital.. check
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
