i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
