If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
