i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
