organizing the empties. That sober.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
