based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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