my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
