anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
