I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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