White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's shark week go big or go home
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
