and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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