Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
