someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize