Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
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