God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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