i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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