no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
