that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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