If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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