Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
