you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
