Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
