You can't motorboat a personality
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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