Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
