it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
