Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
